We’ve all been taught to avoid the truth if we fear that our news has potential to upset someone whom we like and respect, but being honest about your feelings doesn’t mean that you have to be tactless. If we understand and appreciate that everyone has varying degrees of skill with regard to handling feedback, and that they aren’t always in control of their emotional responses, there’s always a way to talk over any issue and reach a reasonable compromise.

Honesty is the best policy and, in my humble opinion, a lie by omission causes the most harm. The world would be a much better place if everyone was capable of directly confronting differences of opinion and, if these cannot be reconciled, choosing to disagree without the having the discussion escalate to an argument or parting of ways. Over time, I’ve decided that the culprit impeding this outcome is ego … and egos can be so demanding of respect!

So what can you do if you know you’re onto something and your ideas are repeatedly ignored by your business associates? Do you give up and become resentful or do you try to find another way to get your point across to them?

You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes. ~ Rabindranath Tagore (1861 – 1941)

In any business, risk is necessary but risks should always be meticulously researched and measured against your assumptions before making a change. Consider carefully whether or not your idea is too great of a leap to be considered at this time but, by all means, don’t give it up if you strongly feel it can work better than the track you are currently on. With just a little more thought, you may find a way to redesign your proposal that seems less risky to your associates. 

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet. ~ African Proverb

Because the river moves around it, a rock appears to be stronger but physics have proven that moving water will prevail and keep its own course over time. After many attempts to dictate the route of the Mississippi River, The Army Corps of Engineers have learned that the river knows its own way and serves no man.

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.- Anonymous

Although the process that makes water stronger than a rock is erosion, we aren’t disempowering anyone by gently persisting about something that we know, in our hearts, is a better way to go. There are people who will not pursue any idea that they don’t feel is their own. With theses sorts of personalities, planting the seed of your idea and waiting for them to embrace it as their own usually does the trick, however, it does require that you don’t have a need to be recognized for it. Giving the idea to your business associates from the onset with phrasing like, “Have you considered …”, is an extremely non-confrontational assertion and somewhat of a subliminal command to for them to at least think about your recommendation.

Bodies of water also give us another metaphor for our business relationships. Many rivers open up to the sea but the sea is its own force and returns tides to the rivers. The mixture of salt and fresh water produces a brackish habitat where creatures from both worlds can adapt and thrive. Using this metaphor, when your original idea is improved upon through your business colleagues’ consideration, blending thoughts can result in a better plan and those who are capable of adapting can prosper more.

So it all seems to come down to being open and honest to learning and not being attached to the outcomes of your suggestions, doesn’t it? If we can keep our demanding egos out of the way, forward progress is always an option. Whether the progress is a business idea or a shift in how you interact with your associates, a positive change of direction is normally a sign of growth.

We all know there are times when it is necessary to have a conversation that has potential to become awkward. If you are a good communicator, you can usually find a way to avoid arguments but there are times when the only option available is to agree to disagree. If you are capable of speaking your mind, in spite of any fears, and managing your emotional response to having your ideas rejected, you’ve risen above the constraints that your ego can create.

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