Fearing Failure is a Choice!

Have the courage to fail big and stick around.
Make them wonder why you’re still laughing!
~ From the film Elizabethtown

There is a lot of wisdom in that statement.  It isn’t so much that you want to prove to others that you’re strong in the face of adversity but rather, to me, it portrays an individual who understands that fearing failure is only a result of caring about the opinions of onlookers. In the vast configuration of things that really matter, what those people might think have nothing to do with your actual experience.

Children are inherently good at moving past failures because, in their youthful pursuit of life experiences, they have no idea what failure means. Like everything, children are taught that fearing failure is “normal” by some well-intentioned adult who explains the mechanics of failure and success.

Strictly speaking and in my opinion, you can only fail if you are comparing yourself to external standards that may or may not apply.  Yes, this sounds a bit like double speak but please bear with me while I explain.

When we measure our success against another person’s accomplishments and find ourselves falling short of that mark, we are doing ourselves a disservice.  What worked for them in their environment may have no bearing on what will work for you.  Have you ever noticed the small print in advertisements and sales copy that informs us that results are not typical?

Don't let Fear of Failure Stop You!

I don’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t surround yourself with people whom you admire and pursue the level of success apparent in their lifestyle.  That is the premise of working with a mentor, after all.  They have traveled the road that you wish to undertake and, if they are charging fees for mentoring, they have *hopefully* learned something about the route that they can teach you.  But, if you cannot immediately mirror that level of success, please don’t let it slow you down or stop you!

In my mind’s eye, any effort to do something that one has never done before cannot ever be considered a failure.  Fearing failure has potential to stifle your creativity as you imagine ways to proceed with your plans. If things do not turn out as expected, that is not a failure either.  Remember, goals are only intended to measure progress.  If you have to regroup or reset your goals, that is NOT a failure.

Who says you have to have it all together by a certain age? In my early 50s, I threw away the success model my parents prescribed and started all over again because I discovered that what was true for them was not bearing out to be true for me.  You can read how to avoid fearing failure here.

Fail Forward, Fast
~Tom Peters

I can’t help finding analogies in the behavior of children when I think of this topic.  Children pick themselves up from a fall and keep moving after their goal.  If something hurts, they eventually learn to avoid it.  The same is true for our businesses.  Inexperience might cause a painful lesson or two along the way to your own definition of success but fearing failure can stop you from trying something new. It’s all about your attitude.

This is a link to a story about an 11-year old who understood the iterative process of succeeding. It is a pretty awesome video example.

In the video below, Brian Tracy gives some great advice for overcoming the fears that may be holding you back in your progress.

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Based on this quote from researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, we are actually depriving ourselves of much-needed mental downtime that ultimately may be affecting our learning capabilities.

“Almost certainly, downtime lets the brain go over experiences it’s had, solidify them and turn them into permanent long-term memories,” said Loren Frank, assistant professor in the department of physiology at the university, where he specializes in learning and memory. He said he believed that when the brain was constantly stimulated, “you prevent this learning process.”

Perpetually Plugged in People

There are armies of mobile application developers who are hard at work creating new productivity tools and producing games to entertain us in between tasks.  I am not a Luddite.  I use mobile technology for both business and pleasure but it does seem possible that society is becoming enslaved to its mobile devices.

Entrepreneurs benefit greatly from the advanced technologies availed by multimedia mobile devices but these same advantages have potential to introduce stress, which can have a negative impact on our overall business productivity.  While we want to give our customers the impression nothing matters more to us than our business, we are of no use to customers if we are burned out.

Reboot Yourself!

All of our technology needs to be rebooted periodically to clear memory and cache.  The same is true of us humans.  While it is easy to assume that browsing the internet, checking email, or playing a brief game is a break, these activities don’t remove our technology chains nor provide our brains the breaks they require to renew our creative juices.  Regardless of our professions, most of us are tethered computers throughout our work days so taking a break on another computer isn’t really a break, is it?

During a keynote speech, Harvey MacKay suggested that the most productive time that he spent was time spent looking out his window.  He went on to explain that he was both resting his eyes and refreshing his imagination.  This “stuck” with me.  In situations where there was no window, I hung a photograph of a beautiful place upon which to fix my gaze.

Reboot Yourself!

So, whether your thing is shopping, cerebral pursuits, or nature, do your favorite things and leave the mobile devices at home so you can clear your mental cache and attract new ideas.  You will return to your tasks and I guarantee you will feel better and be more productive.

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Human physiology is fragile. It didn’t seem at all odd that some people might have been dehydrated and unfit to go into a sweat lodge for hours on the heels of their Sedona experience. I’ve wandered through the trails of Sedona. The trails to the vortexes are not paved and most of them involve a climb. As I listened to the statements on Nightline, made by survivors of this experience, as well as from family members whose loved ones had died, I pondered the huge industry that has grown around The Law of Attraction and The Secret over the past couple of years. If you are operating in this niche, you are well advised to monitor the progress of this story!

Don’t get me wrong, I watched The Secret, in the fall of 2007, and the movie was nothing other than inspirational. The underlying message of this movie, and others like it, is that you have the ability to change your viewpoint, and in so doing, have an opportunity to change your life’s course. If you are under the tutelage of a charismatic leader, like James Arthur Ray must be, it’s probably easy to get swept into a belief system that causes you to want the success he says is so easily attainable. And, to his credit, he has a large following.

The fact that our mental approach to a problem can either resolve it or lead us further astray isn’t new information. In the United States, this was discovered by a couple of drunks as they commiserated with each other over a cup of coffee, so the story goes. The relief these two men felt led them to start a movement called Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that has helped millions of people all over the world for nearly a century. AA text suggests “stinking thinking” is the source of emotional problems that lead people to make bad decisions, in this case, drinking. In fact, AA could possibly be the very first Law of Attraction program!

The big difference between AA and programs like James Arthur Ray’s is that AA doesn’t define its membership by the amount of money they have to spend to join. This is written into their 12 Traditions at article six, which is a spiritual tradition recognizing that money, property and prestige can distract an AA group from its primary purpose … to help people.

James Arthur Ray’s Spiritual Warrior Retreat was selling for a whopping fee of $9,695! This adventure built on a previous product offering called Practical Mysticism which sold for $5,295. The funny thing about reading Ray’s promotional materials is that they are merely sales letters, no different in psychology than the sales letters that compel one to purchase anything they’ve never heard about before. Personally, I doubt that Ray is any different than any other person who knows the truth about mindset; he’s just used his connection to The Secret to create a multi-million dollar enterprise.

One person might say this is clever. Another might say it is opportunistic. In the end, only James Arthur Ray knows his motivations and, in light of civil suits already filed against his organization after the Spiritual Warrior debacle, with the strong possibility of forthcoming criminal charges, the law will intervene to make judgment. This judgment could lead to a need to regulate the industry which will wash out a lot of self-help charlatans.

What disturbs me most about Law of Attraction practitioners-for-profit is the disparity of their words against their self-serving style. Last year, I observed this in a “joint venture” where the time I spent developing technology wasn’t recognized as having value and my “partner” asked me to pay for an EFT session. Without exception, every client that I’ve worked with who practices a “wealth attraction” coaching or information business has seemed to be the most tight-fisted and demanding client on my list for, when it comes to completing a project paying the final bill, they will always manufacture excuse after excuse for not producing a final payment when the terms of our contract have been fulfilled.

Is this indicative of the industry at large? One can only hope it isn’t…

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As an internet entrepreneur, encounters with people who purport themselves to be experts at something they haven’t experienced can be amusing to expose in a private conversation but it is alarming to imagine that people who aren’t savvy enough to ask the same questions might be seduced into believing that they’ve found an individual who can lead them to success.  Allowing for the benefit of a doubt, it could be that these people who claim to know what they don’t are operating within the guidelines of The Law of Attraction.

Although the BE-DO-HAVE philosophy was known to me years before The Law of Attraction gained popularity, the mindset is powerful and should not be overlooked.  It has everything to do with self-belief and that is on the critical path to finding success in anything!

Our culture has largely omitted the part about Being leading to Having and it is so clearly important.  One has to BE what they envision themselves to be so they will be motivated to DO what is necessary to HAVE what they’ve envisioned having.

Entrepreneurs are independent by definition.   Usually, we have analyzed our interests and passions, as well as our capabilities, before choosing a new direction.  The pursuit of income should be a secondary consideration because building a business takes time and, if we don’t enjoy spending the time we must invest, our business will not flourish.  We also should conduct market research to assure ourselves that our niche is wide enough to allow for long-term growth.

Internet entrepreneurs can conduct market research by investigating what people are searching for, using keyword research, and determining whether or not what we have to offer will fill their needs.  We also must evaluate competition in our niche so we can enter the market at a price point where our offers seem valuable, especially in an economic climate where discretionary income is being squeezed by the rising costs of necessities.

Broaden your Viewpoint

Regardless of your business model, I encourage you to ask yourself this important question.  Do you feel that anyone can be in business today without having a website that is more than a replicated page?  I admit to having a bias but I feel the answer is a resolute no!

Many people fail to understand that their website needs to convey information that their audience will use when they decide whether or not they want to spend their hard earned cash.  Since people do business with people, your website needs to inform your visitors why they should trust you more than anyone else offering an equal or similar product or service.

Returning to the original idea of this post, I’d like to come back to the importance of earning a viewpoint before speaking with authority.  Each of us has accumulated experiences in our lives and we all have opinions too.  It isn’t imperative that maturity makes anyone’s opinions more qualified but having real-life experience is essential.  Thus, BEing what you envision yourself to be will force you to DO things that will create experiences allowing you to HAVE what you desire.

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People born between 1946 and 1955 are referred to as baby boomers, or more specifically older baby boomers. Demographically, I fall into that group. Ours is largely a generation of rebels who cast aside social norms during our development years. We challenged the need to wear underwear, the values of our government, the teachings of our educators and parents, the Viet Nam War, and the establishment in general. It was a fun time to come of age and a time of social enlightenment, even for our folks.

At some point in time, each of us who were rebels in the 60s grew weary of taking books from orange crate shelving, eating ramen noodles, and dusting wooden utility spindles so we gave into materialism. Working for Honeywell during the tail end of the Viet Nam War was difficult. The hippie inside cringed each time a large government contract was announced on the over head speakers but, as part of that machine, it was common.

Having the ability to enjoy a lifestyle sustained by the trappings that regular paychecks afforded propelled me forward toward corporate ladder climbing aspirations. I gained good altitude but it didn’t lead to a feeling of freedom. The responsibilities associated with leadership positions caused me to have to obfuscate facts that staff needed to have to make informed decisions for their own futures and this caused discomfort. Generally, I am a straight forward individual and had difficulty hiding my incredulousness at directions given from corner offices.

When a lucrative severance package was offered during a merger in 1999, there was no other decision for me. Management complained about my not pursuing the position they expected me to want but, to me, it seemed like another turn on a faulty wheel with no potential for growth. Floating gleefully out the door on that beautiful fall afternoon with my paperwork and confidence, I knew the rest of my life would be very different. I was finally free to choose whatever I wanted to do.

My former colleagues pursued interviews and regular jobs while I considered entrepreneurial options. Technology was still interesting but with IT outsourcing being trendy at that time, my motivation to remain independent led me to a Real Estate career and has since guided me toward my present role as an Online Branding Consultant and Website Designer.

Daily, I converse with people who are confronting changes they never could have imagined. When I sense their trepidation about the future, I can’t help but advise them to remain open to possibility and to introspect about the source of their real passions. This sort of coaching is not a service that I offer but my colleagues and clients do seem to appreciate it. Many of them are near or beyond my age and don’t know how to make themselves over again.

Starting over in one’s 50s is a common theme these days. Many baby boomers are turning to the internet for alternatives to traditional employment because, whether or not employers admit it, discrimination occurs when the qualifications are equal but salary expectations are weighted by age and experience. In all matters, perseverance is the key to getting what you want but it never hurts to have a Plan B.

If we don’t permit fear to cloud our judgment, we know we are never out of options. When considering yours, try listing all of the expertise that you have accumulated, no matter how trivial they seem, and juxtapose that with a second list of things that you most enjoy doing. While you do this, ensure that you are in a place where you cannot be distracted by family or phones. Although it is important to be realistic when you do this, try to not restrict yourself with arbitrary limits or well-meaning negativity you may have been forced to endure.

Another tactic to choosing a new direction is to connect with and talk to others who are in the industry that you want to pursue. Projected income is a secondary consideration at this phase. Ask these people about the nature of their work and try to imagine yourself in that role. If this person seems hypey in their responses, re-direct them with specific questions that will help you gain clarity as to whether or not you would look forward to getting up in the morning to do the things they are doing to be successful in their business. This is a very important consideration for an entrepreneur. If they will not answer your direct questions directly, you may not want to pursue what they are promoting.

Generally speaking, here are some guidelines associated with different business models:

Network Marketing includes talking and recruiting. Good MLM sponsors also provide tools for their downline teams that will help them differentiate themselves and grow their businesses. There are many Network Marketing companies to choose from and it is prudent to investigate MLM Watchdog for information about the opportunity. It also is important that you connect with the product that you will be asked to promote on some level because you’ll need to know about it in order to sell it, or the business opportunity that surrounds it. If you can casually bring up the benefits about your company’s products and business opportunity during conversation, it will seem less like a pitch.

Affiliate Marketing entails knowing where to find information about the affiliate product you are promoting and building a list so you can advance new offers to your responsive list members. Credibility is important in any business so don’t worry if they visit your page and don’t buy. If they have opted into your list, you will have a chance to impress them with your generosity and expertise through email over the course of time. There are other ways to promote an affiliate product and I always recommend having an optin site in front of the replicated sales page.

Perhaps you have niche expertise that others would like to know more about. In this instance, you may have an e-product that you could create and sell. There are many forms of media and you can package audio/video with a PDF file to increase the sales price. Creating a product is not as daunting a task as it might sound. It merely takes time and attention, as well as a venue for promotion and sales. Normally, this is a website.

Each of the business models available online could be posts, or books, in their own right. Thus, there is not a good way to provide all the details about each business type in a single blog post.

For those of you confronting changes caused by external forces outside your control, never stop believing in the power you have to create something new, regardless of your numerical age. As a thriving baby boomer, I have recreated my career path several times. If my dreams come true, there is another change on the horizon.

I’d like to invite you to subscribe to my blog via feedburner or contact me directly if you want to converse with me further. As always, your readership and comments are always appreciated.

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Success can be measured by data but often the value of the data used can be skewed.  Statistics can be presented for any given goal.  For instance, tonight I was reviewing a link that a friend sent to me.  They had been researching the meaning of IQ measurements.  As I scanned down the page, the percentile rankings increased.  It made me smile when I noticed that 99.5% of all people have an IQ between 60 – 140.  Even though the percent of people in that group seems impressive, what does the statistic tell us?

When I first began working online, the commonly cited statistic for failure was 97%.  More recently, this statistic has been cited as being higher.  Internet marketers who used this statistic have repeatedly suggested that they have helpful information which would allow me to become a member of the smaller group … the successful group.  Yet, even in our industry, these statistics are being sensationalized.  Is the intention to attract people who are bound to succeed or determined to not fail?

There is nothing to fear by pursuing a career as an internet marketer but, on the other hand, there is no magic.  When someone promises you instant wealth without putting forth any effort or claims to have all the answers that will help you succeed, they are sensationalizing their offer.  Inexperienced or naive internet marketers may buy into this belief and spend money but, ultimately, they will learn that their personal success has EVERYTHING to do with their effort and intentions.  Internet marketing is a business.  If you want to be successful, you must do what it takes to create that success.  Whether you like it or not, this requires some work.

When you are considering an online opportunity, you must know your reasons for wanting to work in that environment.  It is not about the products, the compensation plan or the upline.  The single most important question to ask yourself is this:

Why do you want financial freedom?

The law of attraction suggests that you will attract that which you focus upon.  If your motives for wanting financial freedom are completely self-centered, it is highly likely that you will attract other self-centered individuals into your internet business.  When your goals are larger than what the money will do for you, you begin to attract people into your realm who are helpful and interested in building enduring relationships that will lead to lasting success online.

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How is that working for you so far?

Diligence is an important component to succeeding in life, regardless of your goal, but it is much more important to understand WHY you want to succeed.  Money should not be your only cause.

When I was first asked to articulate my reasons for wanting to succeed as a self-employed person, I truly put some thought into that document.  I considered all the things that were important to me.  I laid out all the dreams that were pertinent and still with me after years of living and learning. 

There is a point of view that suggests that you must first BE what you desire to be.  This decision leads you to DO things that allow you to HAVE your goal.  I liked that, for it is a simple formula. 

In my life, I have modified it to be DREAM – DO – HAVE for our dreams are worthwhile and guide us toward our futures.  And, face it, without dreams, life is dull.

So, I ask you to ponder, what are your dreams and WHY are those dreams important to you?  Put this into writing and refer to it often.  As long as you have sight of your dreams, you will DO what it takes to HAVE them come true for you.

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