Heroes and Villains

As our nation pauses to reflect on the events that occurred a decade ago, we are reminded of the qualities that define us as humans and leaders.   Standing up in bravery during a time of utter chaos is not an uncommon.  The heart of humanity does tend to pull together time and again, so history has proven.

The tragedy of that event will never be forgotten by anyone who was alive that day.  For some, the tragedy was much more personal due to the loss of loved ones and family.  For others across the globe, the act of terrorism was celebrated, to our horror.

On Facebook, my nephew wrote this comment:

“The sadness and outrage inside me is just as much then as now. The question in my mind goes unanswered, why? I’ll never know the answer. If there’s a lesson to be learned from this it might be…don’t take life for granted, don’t just live the day like it’s any other day.”

There are no answers for acts of violence and terrorism.  In and of itself, terrorism is a cowardly act because the perpetrators hide in the shadows and congratulate themselves on a job well done while the innocent suffer the consequences and grief.  When they later take “responsibility” for their actions, it is nothing other than crowing inane justifications for their insanity.  This has been my opinion since long before the historic events of 9-11 and my feelings were galvanized on that day.

Disregarding politics, Mayor Rudy Guilani rose to the top of the list of leaders whom I observed  that day.  His intentions were pure as he motivated his constituents to help each other recover during the crisis.  Apparently, he was among those who impressed talk show host, David Letterman, during that time.

The civilians on United Flight 93, who took fate into their own hands and diverted the plane away from its intended target, acted without regard for their own lives as they protected our nation from further devastation.  We can only imagine how it felt to be forced to make that life or death decision and, God willing, none of us will ever have to confront such a choice.

On this day, and everyday, remember the lessons of 9-11, a nation unites to keep the memories of those who served and protected us by taking a stand for the greater good during a devastating tragedy.

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I’m Not Really a Waitress …

When I launched my wordpress website design business a few years ago, my enthusiasm for helping people make money online caused me to develop a business model for myself that involved a lot of personal time with my clients.  They seemed to appreciate the level of service that I offered for reasonable rates and it was fun for me to learn about the various businesses people were trying to bring online.  I’ve never had to advertise.  My business has grown solely by word-of-mouth and referrals, which is no accident.

Lately, it seems like new clients have expectations that exceed their budgets.  It remains true that my all inclusive wordpress website design and consulting services are rare and I totally understand what it feels like to not know how to do what needs to be done where skills are lacking.  Wherever possible, I extend myself to help out.  I”m recently reminded that the speed with which I isolate and resolve problems seems to be projecting the idea that , because I make it look easy, it is.

I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard a new client tell me that they don’t want to know how something works and that is why they’ve hired me.  I also can’t count the number of times that clients have protested my resistance to continuing without additional compensation.  A handful have been presumptuous enough to question why it would take so long to do.   Excuse me?

With all due respect, if you don’t know what it takes to get something done and you don’t want to take the time to learn how to do it yourself, don’t challenge the person who does know how to do it when they tell you how long it will take to do what you need to have done!

I like living with the belief that all people are reasonable and that they are also willing to parlay a little give and take in our business agreement.  Recently, a handful of  new clients and prospects have come my way who are much happier with the “take” part of the equation, however.  These same people have had no qualms expressing their opinions about wordpress website design services that I should deliver for free or at an unreasonably low price when the simple truth is that they don’t want to pay fairly for the services they are requesting and they are upset about the fact that they are unable to convince me that I should perform those services within their limited budget because they are low on cash.

For those of you who are reading this and are feeling a twinge of guilt about making similar demands of your website services professionals, please ask yourself these questions:

1. If you wanted to buy a luxury car and couldn’t afford it, would ranting at the salesperson change the facts?
2. If that sales person felt sorry for you and went the extra mile to find a financial program that lowered your monthly expense, would you blame them for the fact that the payment was still out of your reach?

When I chose an entrepreneurial career, I was happy to leave my IT Executive role behind in Corporate America because I was weary of leading teams whose contributions to the company’s success were repeatedly diminished by some top-level executive who viewed IT as a necessary evil.  It would seem that I’m growing weary of explaining to new clients and prospects that the skills and knowledge that I’ve gathered throughout my professional life are worth much more than a waitress’ wage.

Yet, referrals keep coming in from my large base of previously satisfied clients.  Several times a week, new business comes in through my website at http://virtuallymarj.com.  Generally speaking, life is good and I enjoy working with the many nice people on my client roster.  I also enjoy taking on a good challenge now and then so I guess I’ll continue growing my wordpress website design business  and keeping it fun by choosing to work with clients who are willing to take advice, understand the value that I bring to their efforts and are willing to pay fairly. 

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Skype Outage – December 22, 2010

Like most online entrepreneurs, Skype is a staple of my business and one of my first logins everyday after having my 2nd cup of coffee.    Today, I was relieved to learn that the problem is not related to Skype hackers or phishers … a rising trend on Skype.

After being unable to login through the client interface, I immediately went to the website to assure myself that my account had not been compromised somehow.  I was able to login and verify my account there, although that capability has since gone down.

While I was logged in, a brief visit to the support page revealed that Skype was aware of the problems that people were having with logging in.  I followed recommended steps to remedy the problem, which included shutting down my home network and resetting the routers.  I guess that should be done periodically anyway so, even though it didn’t solve the Skype login problem, it wasn’t a complete waste of time. 

This is probably quite an embarrassment for Skype in the advent of their upcoming IPO.  For the rest of us, we can breathe a sigh of relief that our Skype accounts have not been hijacked by the hackers and phishers who prey on Skype users.

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Step Away from the Computers!

We are all aware of the value that our digital tools bring us.  Our technology expedites information delivery, allows us to follow our social networks, makes calling from anywhere possible, and provides on-demand entertainment.

Based on this quote from researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, we are actually depriving ourselves of much-needed mental downtime that ultimately may be affecting our learning capabilities.

“Almost certainly, downtime lets the brain go over experiences it’s had, solidify them and turn them into permanent long-term memories,” said Loren Frank, assistant professor in the department of physiology at the university, where he specializes in learning and memory. He said he believed that when the brain was constantly stimulated, “you prevent this learning process.”

Perpetually Plugged in People

There are armies of mobile application developers who are hard at work creating new productivity tools and producing games to entertain us in between tasks.  I am not a Luddite.  I use mobile technology for both business and pleasure but it does seem possible that society is becoming enslaved to its mobile devices.

Entrepreneurs benefit greatly from the advanced technologies availed by multimedia mobile devices but these same advantages have potential to introduce stress, which can have a negative impact on our overall business productivity.  While we want to give our customers the impression nothing matters more to us than our business, we are of no use to customers if we are burned out.

Reboot Yourself!

All of our technology needs to be rebooted periodically to clear memory and cache.  The same is true of us humans.  While it is easy to assume that browsing the internet, checking email, or playing a brief game is a break, these activities don’t remove our technology chains nor provide our brains the breaks they require to renew our creative juices.  Regardless of our professions, most of us are tethered computers throughout our work days so taking a break on another computer isn’t really a break, is it?

During a keynote speech, Harvey MacKay suggested that the most productive time that he spent was time spent looking out his window.  He went on to explain that he was both resting his eyes and refreshing his imagination.  This “stuck” with me.  In situations where there was no window, I hung a photograph of a beautiful place upon which to fix my gaze.

When I am confounded by a bit of code for a wordpress website development task or unable to come up with fresh ideas for a new branding strategy, leaving my office for a stroll along the ocean shore totally renews my perspective.  While I am away, I am not thinking about the work task.  I am enjoying the salt air and interacting with people around me.  I also leave my mobile device in the car while I am at the beach.  There is nothing so earth shattering that it cannot wait for a few hours.  Relaxing in a chair with a good book (with REAL pages!) or doing a crossword puzzle is another method that I use to get away from bright LCD screens and computers.

So, whether your thing is shopping, cerebral pursuits, or nature, do your favorite things and leave the mobile devices at home so you can clear your mental cache and attract new ideas.  You will return to your tasks and I guarantee you will feel better and be more productive.

Most Memorable Mother

It’s Mother’s Day in the United States.  This is a holiday reserved for the women who gave us our lives and, if you are as fortunate as me, the person who believed in us so much that we knew we could never fail.  Today, I will tell you some of the most memorable stories that I have about a remarkable woman who was my mother, my mentor, and my friend.

My mother was born in 1926, which means she grew up during the depression.  She was the oldest in a family of 12 children and, because times were difficult, her father expected her to quit school so she could help earn money to feed the family.  Mom didn’t honor that request for she knew it would inhibit her future possibilities.  At the age of 15, the same year that World War II began, she left her family and moved into a girl’s home so she could finish high school and make something more of her life.  Her courage and focus were quite admirable.

Perhaps one of the bravest things that my mother decided to do was to have a career other than being a homemaker.  I know this doesn’t sound amazing at all these days but, during the 50’s, this was not popular.  Many of  the suburban housewives whispered among themselves about how she was neglecting her duties as a mother and a wife.  Some of those women even prohibited their children from being friends with my sister and me but, in my eyes, nothing could have been further from the truth!  Mom and Dad explained that she was going to work so we could have greater oppotunities.  Her working created income opportunities for me around the house, which taught me to be enterprising, industrious and responsible.

Mom took a job as a secretary, which was about the only position that women were allowed to have at that time.  Within a couple of years, she was promoted to the position of Wholesale Buyer which caused a bit of conflict within the secretarial pool. My mother loved what she did, and she was quite good at it too.   Twice a year, she would travel to New York City and negotiate large purchases for her company.  I got to tag along with her a couple of times.  Having the chance to see her at work was nothing short of inspirational.  She was well-respected and a tenacious negotiator.

One of the fondest memories that I have of her is a reaction she had to an editorial in the local paper.  Some man had written that women should not work outside the home and, if they did, that they should stick to “jobs for women” and stay out of the more challenging business roles because men were better suited for those sorts of positions.

Mom had a fit!  She went straight to her typewriter and prepared a response that was published by the paper.  This created quite a stir in the family, since she had used her married name on the letter.  I will never forget listening in on a debate between my mother and grandfather, who was unhappy that she had used “his” name on such a controversial subject.  She stunned him to silence when she retorted, “It’s my name too!”   In that moment, she taught me that it was OK to stand up for what you believed in and be who you are, regardless of the circumstances.  Remarkable!

I’m chuckling as I write this … and experiencing a little emotion too.  I miss my mother very much. 

Although Mom didn’t always agree with my ideas as a youth, she never told me I was wrong.  In the truest sense of the word, she mentored me by discussing the pros and cons, just as she would with any adult.  Those conversations always ended with her telling me that she trusted my judgment, which was empowering.  I got to test my strategies and, if something didn’t work out the way I expected, she never said, “I told you so.”  She would offer her advise and recommend solutions but it was always up to me to decide what path to choose.  That was her greatest gift to me.  Over the years, her strength became my will.

Her independent style and tireless encouragements are factors that still motivate me today.  Her belief in me allowed me to rely on my good instincts, which has been the basis for every decision that I’ve made in my career.  She taught me to disregard the nay-sayers and follow my own path.  This is  something you will feel in many of my articles and it is one of the primary reasons that  GetIncomeBlog.com was launched in 2008.

Whether I am writing about following your passions or shutting out the noise around you so you can try something new, my message is always the same; Believe in Yourself first.  It isn’t always comfortable to follow the road less traveled but, if you believe in yourself and your abilities, the pot holes on your path are never so deep that the axle will break on your carriage. 

Mom’s resilience never ceased to amaze me.  Up until the day she went into a coma, a week before her death, my mother’s mind remained sharp, she never doubted my ability to succeed, and she was a good friend to me.  I was blessed to have her in my life.

So, this one is for you, Mom!

Making a Difference Matters

For those of you who may have missed me, please accept my apologies for having neglected my blog for so long, .  The thrill of operating your own business comes complete with the opportunity cost of having to keep your nose to the grindstone, at times.

There are some clients whose expressions of gratitude almost makes you feel guilty about getting paid for the job.  I have recently had that experience.

Here is a quote from a rave that one of my clients just wrote on their blog, about the service they received from me:

If you are blogger, you know that  your site is not unlike your child.  And when your child is sick, you tend to stop functioning.  You want answers.  You want certainty.  You want experts.  And we got absolutely none of that from our hosting provider Network Solutions.  From Network Solutions we got ticket numbers, escalation promises, and false assurances.  So we panicked and called in the real expert.

Virtually Marj. WordPress developer extraordinaire.

We love Virtually Marj for the following reasons:

She knows her stuff

She delivers exactly what she promises on time.

She is a human being.

I swear that I blushed when I read what they wrote.    If you want to see this post on their site, visit MothersofBrothers.

Even though their praise is directed at me, the three things that they noted are essential to anyone’s  success in business so it bears repeating.

If you don’t pretend to be good at something that you aren’t, are clear about deliverables and time frames, and  remember to  be yourself, you have a recipe for success.

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Who Are You?

When your life changes in a radical way, what do you rely on to keep yourself moving forward? That’s a good question to have a solid answer to, I believe.

Many people define themselves by the accumulation of their material belongings, their careers, or their family roles. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, unless it is the primary method you use to define yourself TO yourself.

Take a young parent who immerses themselves in the very important job of being the best parent they know how to be. This can include a lot of sacrifice, especially in the early years. As children get older and more self-sufficient, that dedicated parent can find themselves feeling directionless if they have not maintained perspective on their personal goals in life.

Another example would be a career-minded person who has devoted themselves to being a loyal employee, which also can include a lot of sacrifice. In these unpredictable and tumultuous financial times, executives and individual contributors alike are surprised to discover that loyalty means nothing when shareholders are demanding better returns on their investments or a private company owner must cut back on expenses to keep their business viable.

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

~Alexander Graham Bell, US (Scottish-born) inventor (1847 – 1922)

We have choices to make at the time of a significant change. If our moorings are based on a self-perception that can withstand exterior influences, we will embrace the changes and use the opportunity to GROW.

Goals
Establish some goals for your new life. Make sure these goals are aligned with your personal passions so they are goals you will enjoy pursuing and bringing to life. Once you have selected goals, find a group of people who share similar interests and hopefully people whom you can look up to so you can emulate their successes and learn from their mistakes.

Reality
Appreciate the fact that reality, as you previously understood it, has changed. If this causes you to feel dread, you must find a way to adjust your mindset. Perhaps it could be something as simple as finding at least one thing everyday about the difference that you like better than your previous reality.

Options
Know all of your options. If you feel limited in any way, introspect about what is the source of that feeling and create a solution where the problem exists. Truly creative often see a problem seeking a solution long before anyone else. Could that be the purpose of the perceived limitation?

Will
Especially for entrepreneurs, there are times when sheer force of will is all that propels you forward toward your goals. If you are willing to believe in your own success, that will make all the difference in the world.

Perhaps the most important thing to investigate each day is your willingness to get out of bed. It is important to know why you are living and working each day. Write these things down and keep your list near the alarm clock. If you find yourself hitting the snooze button, rather than getting up right away, you might need to make a new list or evaluate your priorities. Face it; If your “whys” aren’t compelling enough to get you out of bed, they clearly aren’t important enough.

Are You and Your Business Partners Oceans Apart?

We’ve all been taught to avoid the truth if we fear that our news has potential to upset someone whom we like and respect, but being honest about your feelings doesn’t mean that you have to be tactless. If we understand and appreciate that everyone has varying degrees of skill with regard to handling feedback, and that they aren’t always in control of their emotional responses, there’s always a way to talk over any issue and reach a reasonable compromise.

Honesty is the best policy and, in my humble opinion, a lie by omission causes the most harm. The world would be a much better place if everyone was capable of directly confronting differences of opinion and, if these cannot be reconciled, choosing to disagree without the having the discussion escalate to an argument or parting of ways. Over time, I’ve decided that the culprit impeding this outcome is ego … and egos can be so demanding of respect!

So what can you do if you know you’re onto something and your ideas are repeatedly ignored by your business associates? Do you give up and become resentful or do you try to find another way to get your point across to them?

You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes. ~ Rabindranath Tagore (1861 – 1941)

In any business, risk is necessary but risks should always be meticulously researched and measured against your assumptions before making a change. Consider carefully whether or not your idea is too great of a leap to be considered at this time but, by all means, don’t give it up if you strongly feel it can work better than the track you are currently on. With just a little more thought, you may find a way to redesign your proposal that seems less risky to your associates.

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet. ~ African Proverb

Because the river moves around it, a rock appears to be stronger but physics have proven that moving water will prevail and keep its own course over time. After many attempts to dictate the route of the Mississippi River, The Army Corps of Engineers have learned that the river knows its own way and serves no man.

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.- Anonymous

Although the process that makes water stronger than a rock is erosion, we aren’t disempowering anyone by gently persisting about something that we know, in our hearts, is a better way to go. There are people who will not pursue any idea that they don’t feel is their own. With theses sorts of personalities, planting the seed of your idea and waiting for them to embrace it as their own usually does the trick, however, it does require that you don’t have a need to be recognized for it. Giving the idea to your business associates from the onset with phrasing like, “Have you considered …”, is an extremely non-confrontational assertion and somewhat of a subliminal command to for them to at least think about your recommendation.

Bodies of water also give us another metaphor for our business relationships. Many rivers open up to the sea but the sea is its own force and returns tides to the rivers. The mixture of salt and fresh water produces a brackish habitat where creatures from both worlds can adapt and thrive. Using this metaphor, when your original idea is improved upon through your business colleagues’ consideration, blending thoughts can result in a better plan and those who are capable of adapting can prosper more.

So it all seems to come down to being open and honest to learning and not being attached to the outcomes of your suggestions, doesn’t it? If we can keep our demanding egos out of the way, forward progress is always an option. Whether the progress is a business idea or a shift in how you interact with your associates, a positive change of direction is normally a sign of growth.

We all know there are times when it is necessary to have a conversation that has potential to become awkward. If you are a good communicator, you can usually find a way to avoid arguments but there are times when the only option available is to agree to disagree. If you are capable of speaking your mind, in spite of any fears, and managing your emotional response to having your ideas rejected, you’ve risen above the constraints that your ego can create.

The Secret about The Secret

James Arthur Ray was featured on Nightline this week. It seems that some of the participants of his Spiritual Warrior Retreat, held in Sedona in early October, died in a sweat lodge exercise at the end of a grueling week of motivational activities. The sweat lodge exercise was mandated after the people had spent days in the beautiful canyons of Sedona, without food or adequate rest, to connect with their inner truth … supposedly.

Human physiology is fragile. It didn’t seem at all odd that some people might have been dehydrated and unfit to go into a sweat lodge for hours on the heels of their Sedona experience. I’ve wandered through the trails of Sedona. The trails to the vortexes are not paved and most of them involve a climb. As I listened to the statements on Nightline, made by survivors of this experience, as well as from family members whose loved ones had died, I pondered the huge industry that has grown around The Law of Attraction and The Secret over the past couple of years. If you are operating in this niche, you are well advised to monitor the progress of this story!

Don’t get me wrong, I watched The Secret, in the fall of 2007, and the movie was nothing other than inspirational. The underlying message of this movie, and others like it, is that you have the ability to change your viewpoint, and in so doing, have an opportunity to change your life’s course. If you are under the tutelage of a charismatic leader, like James Arthur Ray must be, it’s probably easy to get swept into a belief system that causes you to want the success he says is so easily attainable. And, to his credit, he has a large following.

The fact that our mental approach to a problem can either resolve it or lead us further astray isn’t new information. In the United States, this was discovered by a couple of drunks as they commiserated with each other over a cup of coffee, so the story goes. The relief these two men felt led them to start a movement called Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that has helped millions of people all over the world for nearly a century. AA text suggests “stinking thinking” is the source of emotional problems that lead people to make bad decisions, in this case, drinking. In fact, AA could possibly be the very first Law of Attraction program!

The big difference between AA and programs like James Arthur Ray’s is that AA doesn’t define its membership by the amount of money they have to spend to join. This is written into their 12 Traditions at article six, which is a spiritual tradition recognizing that money, property and prestige can distract an AA group from its primary purpose … to help people.

James Arthur Ray’s Spiritual Warrior Retreat was selling for a whopping fee of $9,695! This adventure built on a previous product offering called Practical Mysticism which sold for $5,295. The funny thing about reading Ray’s promotional materials is that they are merely sales letters, no different in psychology than the sales letters that compel one to purchase anything they’ve never heard about before. Personally, I doubt that Ray is any different than any other person who knows the truth about mindset; he’s just used his connection to The Secret to create a multi-million dollar enterprise.

One person might say this is clever. Another might say it is opportunistic. In the end, only James Arthur Ray knows his motivations and, in light of civil suits already filed against his organization after the Spiritual Warrior debacle, with the strong possibility of forthcoming criminal charges, the law will intervene to make judgment. This judgment could lead to a need to regulate the industry which will wash out a lot of self-help charlatans.

What disturbs me most about Law of Attraction practitioners-for-profit is the disparity of their words against their self-serving style. Last year, I observed this in a “joint venture” where the time I spent developing technology wasn’t recognized as having value and my “partner” asked me to pay for an EFT session. Without exception, every client that I’ve worked with who practices a “wealth attraction” coaching or information business has seemed to be the most tight-fisted and demanding client on my list for, when it comes to completing a project paying the final bill, they will always manufacture excuse after excuse for not producing a final payment when the terms of our contract have been fulfilled.

Is this indicative of the industry at large? One can only hope it isn’t…

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The Most Successful Entrepreneur

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my new life in the place that I’ve always wanted to live … San Diego, California.  This transition would not have been possible if I had not decided to become an internet entrepreneur and learned what it takes to get income online.

The year has been personally exciting.  It was delightful to experience a winter without sub-zero temperatures, far too much snow, and long, dark, gray days.  Enjoying bright and sunny 80 degree days for the Holidays, without the temperature being an anomaly, put a smile on my face too.  I haven’t tired of driving through the marvelous mountains while traveling around the area on business and roaming along the shores of the Pacific Ocean whenever I choose to is nothing other than magical.

From a business perspective, San Diego has opened new doors of opportunity.  For example, I was privileged to attend a local chapter meeting of Glazer-Kennedy’s Insider Circle this evening.  After some power networking and a few business card trades, I gazed around the room to see what sorts of people were also interested in moving their business beyond mediocrity.  Attendees came from all walks of life.  There were lawyers, doctors, building contractors, mechanics, holistic practitioners, artists, and, of course, non-pretentious internet millionaires in baseball caps.  What was most important was one common thread.  Each person in that room was there because they knew that there is always something more to learn.

Equally interesting to me was one of the motivational posters taped to the wall which read:

The most successful entrepreneur is the loneliest person in the world

I’ve experienced some entrepreneurial success and I totally  understand that statement from personal experience…

It isn’t that entrepreneurs are aloof or choose to walk alone but the road we are on is certainly a road less traveled.  When the scent which will lead to success is found, it requires fastidious and incisive intellect to hone in upon the source and follow the trail.

Sometimes discovery leads to changing strategies or tactics but the rewards are great when things begin to come together.  The path might not be straight forward and seeing around the bend requires occasional leaps of faith, at times.  One of the most important skills you must have is to stay the course and believe in your vision.

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