Tribes & Misdemeanors (Updated 10/19/2009)
April 25, 2009 by Marj Wyatt
Filed under How to Succeed with Social Networking
I’ve been online since the dial-up days, long before internetworking or email exchange was possible on computers with dissimilar operating systems. Working for a company with military contracts provided access to something called Arpanet which preceded the internet, as we know it today. When personal computers came on the scene in the late 1980s, we initially shared files using a technology called sneaker net. This involved copying files to a 5.25 inch floppy disk and delivering to the person who needed to access the file.
At that time, online tribes gathered in Usenet Groups where discussions could occur or news could be read with minimal lag time. As well, if someone had an axe to grind or was biased by some other affiliation, online and unofficially declared social etiquette was to indicate your position in the posted replies or at the end of one’s signature. Participants used telnet to visit these “chat rooms” and dial up speeds were a whopping 1200bps.
Bulletin boards were along the evolutionary chain of online tribe building. During their heyday period from the late 1970s to the early 1990s, these venues were maintained by hobbyists or corporate system administrators and the application software was hosted on dedicated computers. Operating costs sometimes translated to a fee based service. Because dial-up access often included expensive long distance calling rates, these sorts of tribes were geographically localized and members of the BBSes tended socialize in person on a somewhat regular basis.
Fast forward to now. These days, it is an anomaly for someone to not have high speed internet access. Bulletin boards have progressed to become forums and free internet messaging tools make it painlessly simple to gather into online tribes in a heartbeat. Skype Chat rooms are a great place to get connected and interact with like-minded people and I have learned a lot from my involvement with some of them.
Most Skype chat rooms have clear guidelines posted and all of them have hosts and co-hosts to monitor discussions and ensure that members adhere to the rules. Friendships can develop quickly when you can get a feeling about things that people think and care about in the rooms. Some friendships evolve on a more personal level which may even lead to conducting business together in profitable partnerships or JV endeavors.
Over time, I have observed that all Skype Chat Rooms are not created equally and that room owners, hosts, or members don’t always play nice. Unlike face-to-face friends, you do not have the benefit of body language, voice tone, or inflections behind the words. Even when you voice chat with someone, the anonymity factor of distance permits people to misrepresent themselves. If you are a guest in a Skype Chat, you will soon learn that room hosts can be arbitrary about who remains a member. Since it is their room, I guess this is their perfect right but, if you are the victim of a random ejection for no apparent reason, it can be disconcerting.
I approach all new memberships with caution and tend to leave or distance myself from Skype Chats where the room owners are only intent on pontification of their own professional worth, seem to bully members, or where the overall intention seems to be gossip, belligerence or unfocused conversations leading nowhere. We attract what we are thinking and, if we are embroiled in mean-spirited conversations, interacting with vulgar and opinionated people, or wasting our precious time on non-productive conversations, what will we attract?
This post is mainly written to recommend two of my long-time favorite chat rooms:
- GutzMedia Training 24/7 Chat
- Julie’s Skype Tips Chat
My evaluation is primarily based on these observations:
- Quality of content & member interaction
- Spirit of mutual support
- Lack of spammy affiliate links
- Membership exhibits common courtesies we learned in Kindergarten such as: play nice, don’t push each other on the playground and share your toys.
Skype is a remarkable online business meeting place and Skype chat rooms can facilitate great learning. The two rooms recommended in this post have never publicly disparaged anyone and I’ve found their membership to be very helpful. If you’re looking for interaction and friendship, I do suggest checking them out. These chat room owners are good people with superior online reputations whom I have come to know, respect and like. I believe that you will like them too.
Feel free to look me up on Skype if you have any questions. I can introduce you to these rooms too. My Skype ID is marj.wyatt.
I have an addendum to this post. Gutz 7/24 Skype chat has recently made a business decision to come off of Skype Public Chat and adjourn to their free Social Network hosted at Ning. Membership is free and getting involved with the Gutz Media Live community can only serve to improve your connections and business mindset.
As of October 19, 2009, the value obtained from participation in Julie’s Skype Tips chat room has become questionable. This room appears to be absorbed in conversations that will only help brand new Skype users, business owners in Message Magic, or people whose Skype Accounts have been hijacked. Thus, even though the information about the history of online chats remains of some value, there are NO Skype Chat Rooms that can be recommended.
Thanks for this post Marj. online forums and chats are a bit of a cesspool of shifty characters. It takes quite some time to determine if people are worth doing business with. My litmus test is time. If someone continues to carry on real meaningful conversations with you for months they probably are worth doing business with. With that said do not offer up tons of money in a partnership with anyone online with out meeting face to face and signing legally binding documents.
Marj, As always very insightful and engaging. Thanks for providing everyone with a great reminder of basic etiquette that is sometimes forgotten in virtual communications. Your posts are always a welcome read!
Interesting info. Thanks for the ancient history of social networking on the internet. And I am honored to be one of your two recommendations. Thank you Marj. I also can say that I also very much enjoy the people ans information in the Gutz Media Training Skype room also.
Julie Wolf – Skype id: juliewolf
Good information Marj.
I find that any form of social network requires time to ‘get into’ or not. Skype chat rooms are basically no different to that. Yes, you’re at the ‘whim’ of the host, but ultimately this is the case on other social networks as well. I remember a discussion not so no long ago about the way one social network was ‘moderating’ conversation.
I think the difference between the Skype chat rooms is that perhaps they are smaller and it’s more obvious – and certainly more real time.
I’ve found using Skype as a communication tool, via text and voice to be a catalyst for my business. I prefer the immediacy of interaction and, given my geographical location, the ease with which information can be shared.
Hi Marj,
Good blog. I am with you concerning some of the chat rooms. There are always those shifty characters running around the net acting like they haven’t graduated from “sandbox” yet. I will look into these two chat rooms. They look good.
Greetings Marj!
Again, another of your great posts! Your content and subject including the history of internet functionallity is super fantastic! We both remember {Back in the Day} and the Military computer systems and avenues to communicate which by now are dinosauric at best, ha!
Many have experienced the same things you have in Chat Rooms …conflicting personalities, bullying, collegial “Circles of Influence”, and as Joyce said “Sandbox” mentalities. Chat Rooms SHOULD be set up as {Live} meeting places for useful and helpful information resources, training and and good networking sources to meet and make new friends and business associates. Unfortunately …NOT all are!
Etiquette is a huge factor and alot of people online either ingnore or aren’t aware that “Online Etiquette” exists …even in Chat Rooms. Then there are those that haven’t even begun to learn what {Etiquette} in and of itself really is …simply put, good manners! Etiquette is also a relative to Ethics 101 regarding online communications.
Bottom Line: If people would {Be Adults}, be respectful of others and focus on learning and sharing information, we may find more chat rooms that are more intelligently functional rather than some of the currently existing ones that seemingly have become {localized} dumping grounds.
We all experience personalities that aren’t even close to being {Socially Adept} … meaning of course being highly skilled or well-trained individuals. Of course, we’re not all going to {Be All That}! We’ve all come from different backgrounds, levels of education …socially, emotionally and physically.
Regarding {Texting} you described that well on the mark as the inability to realize another persons true and actual intent based merely on words typed into a chat or social networking message system, with the ability to disfigure good Etiquette {Manners}. The anonymity factor often allows people with different agendas to become insensitive, disrespectful and yes …even misrepresent who they really are!
{Texting} can be like the very worst {Tornado}. Tornados pick up everything in their path and then self destruct. In the end they release their holdings to outer boundries in so many pieces that can’t possibly be put together the way they were intended to be …thus reflecting the very {Eye} of misperception and misunderstanding that leads to conflict in online communications.
Getting to really {Know} someone takes time, effort, energy and a willingness to call them on the phone or meet with them personally if they live locally nearby. {Chatting} more often than not feels like we’re talking to someone next door or down the street, when in fact it’s technology that brings us together in that kind of close environment online.
What we all need to do is exercise and practice good common sense and manners. Just like the book “All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum. How tempting it is to send this out in pdf form to some we meet along the way! But the true meaning of all of this is to educate others on how internet communications began, evolved and where they are currently.
Thus we say to you Marj …a great BIG HUGE Congratulations on an article VERY Well Done!!
Respectfully Your Friends,
Viktoria & Gary Affron
Florida – USA
Marj,
Another post with lots of insight. We are GUTz appreciates that you have honored us by mentioning our skype chat. We are proud to have you not only as a member of GUTz because not only are you talented; you bring so much value to the table.
Your sharing and giving spirit will be welcomed anywhere.
Hi Marj,
great piece on the history of social networking, I agree with you about the Quality of some sites and as a member of Julies Skype Tips Chat room I agree with your evaluation parameters.
Thank you
Warm regards
Gerry Kenny
Marj,
Great post and WoW, I have learned alot from you……(bet you didn’t know that…
You are a great person and I am glad that you have found your homes in these two skype chat rooms……
Armando
The best information i have found exactly here. Keep going Thank you
You know so many interesting infomation. You might be very wise. I like such people. Don’t top writing.
I am new and wanted to make a new post to acquaint myself. My name is Josh and I stumbled this place by a fast Google and preferred to just say hello. I would prefer to engage in emerging topics and look forth to speaking with all.
General idea – why not add a survey to this awesome forum so that you can know what us users want? Something like the runpolls surveys would fit in great.